Only God is able to exercise that kind of control.
The goal of parenting is not to retain tightfisted control over our children in an attempt to guarantee their safety and our sanity. How many parents have struggled with the friends that their children have chosen? Yes, the choice of companions is a very serious matter, but it’s also a place where we surrender control to a maturing child. This same child will soon be driving away from the house to places well out of our parental reach. The baby who once was unable to roll over without assistance can now crawl into the bathroom without our permission and unravel an entire roll of toilet paper. However, the truth is that from day one, our children are growing independent. We choose their food, times of rest, manner of physical exercise, what they see and hear, where they go, who their friends are-the list could go on and on. There’s little that infants and very young children choose to do. In the early years of parenting, we’re in control of everything, and although we complain about the stress of it all, we like having the power.
The goal of parenting is to raise children who were once totally dependent on us to be independent, mature people who, with reliance on God and proper connectedness to the Christian community, are able to stand on their own two feet. Successful parenting is about rightful, God-ordained loss of control. This spiritual dynamic hits right at the heart of parenting and marriage. As sinners, we seem to be better at the latter than we are at the former. I’m increasingly convinced that there are only two ways of living: (1) trusting God and living in submission to His will and His rule, or (2) trying to be God.
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